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wenza iselwa a stir kwi-China. Starring Ingoma Jong-Il, lakhe kwi-desktop techniques e charming kwaye seducing i-ibhinqa kukhokela provoked ngawo iingxoxo kwi-China ke loluntu websites. Isitshayina abantu zithe criticized (rhoqo yi-Isitshayina abafazi) lacking romanticcomment ideals kwaye hayi ekubeni nako woo abafazi kunye isimbo kwaye passion. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ezininzi Entshona abantu kuba tradition ka-romanticism kwaye waqwalasela nako ukuze ukwazi charm abafazi ngaphandle kweenyawo zabo. Yehlabathi Umphinda-phinde ngo wathetha yesine abavela kumazwe angaphandle amadoda malunga njani kokuba, okanye avume, wamsukela Isitshayina abafazi njani ukuphumelela umfazi ke intliziyo kwi-i-shanghai. Amashumi into Lee (pseudonym) evela California. Ngokunxulumene naye, kukho ezahlukeneyo stages ka-dating kwi KUTHI, ukususela intlanganiso yokuqala ukuya kunje ngokuba girlfriend kwaye boyfriend. Wathi ukuba yintoni yenza okulungileyo kuye ku-attracting abafazi ngu ukwazi oko kukuthi ngomhla ezahlukeneyo phinda-phinda. Sokuqala chola-phezulu kwethuba, lakhe tip: kuba uqinisekile kwaye indlela i kubekho inkqubela ufuna aiming kuba msinyane kangangoko kunokwenzeka. ‘Technique sino emva ekhaya kukuba indlela yakhe kwiintsuku ezintlanu imizuzwana, angenise ngokwakho kwaye ke kuyinikela a compliment,’ Lee wathi. ‘Ukuba uthatha inde kakhulu, yena uya uzive nawe aren khange ukuba uqinisekile, kwaye oku ukuchongeka awkwardness. ‘Wathi i-compliment akufanele ngokubanzi (njenge ‘ufuna beautiful,’ okanye ‘ufuna slim’). Endaweni yoko, umntu kufuneka zithe ngenyameko observing i kubekho inkqubela ukubona into yenza yakhe ezahluka-hlukileyo. ‘Mhlawumbi yena sele nabafana amehlo, okanye mhlawumbi yena wakhe a enye ka-stylish jewelry. Ngoko ke kubekho inkqubela uyayazi le guy ayikho esithi ngokubanzi iimboniselo, uya observing yakhe, Lee wathi. Xa umntu sele approached a kubekho inkqubela kwaye wazisa kuye, inyathelo elilandelayo kukuqinisekisa buza kuba amanani. Kodwa Lee wathi ke ngcono hayi rush — kuba relaxed incoko kunye kubekho inkqubela kwaye get yakhe obandakanyekayo phambi kokubuza kuba amanani. Kwi-introductory incoko Lee advises ukuba umntu akufunekanga bathethe malunga ngokwakhe kakhulu kulinywa nzulu — nje kunikela ukukhanya ulwazi ukuba uza yenza kubekho inkqubela bazive ethambileyo malunga lwe abanye wakhe iinkcukacha. ‘Yakho ultimate imbono ukwenza yakhe ethambileyo kwaye yenza yakhe ethanda kukunika kuyo inani. ‘Kanjalo stressed ukuba umntu kufuneka ukuqaphela kubekho inkqubela ke umzimba ulwimi ukubona ukuba yena ngu ethambileyo naye kwaye iyathemba kuye. ‘Umzekelo, ukuba yena ngu ebonisa kuwe ngaphakathi wakhe wrist okanye flossing yakhe iinwele okanye ecela ukuba bakhangela emva kwayo purse xa yena uya — restroom, oko kubonisa yena ngu iqala ukuba trust kuwe,’ Lee wathi. ‘Kodwa ukuba yena folds yakhe izikhali okanye iimpendulo kufuneka usebenzise kuphela enye okanye ezimbini amazwi, ayinjalo elungileyo umqondiso. ‘Ngoko ke, kunye ifowuni okanye WeChat inani wazuza elandelayo inyathelo lesi-ngu kuba umntu ukugcina kwi-touch. Kodwa isitshixo se kweli banga ngu-xa sisazi. Eamerika Lee wathi abantu idla linda ezimbini okanye iintsuku ezintathu phambi ubizo ukubonisa ukuba abakho desperate. Yena advises xa umntu ingaba ukwenza unxulumano lwefowuni ukuba uqinisekise ukuba yena uyayazi uya kukunceda kakhulu staying kwi-touch kunye. ‘A kubekho inkqubela nokufumana ezimbini okanye ezintathu guys ubizo lwakhe. Kodwa sibonisa ufuna worthwhile akekho malunga ebonisa ngaphandle. Uyakwazi bonisa imeko yakho, amandla enu, gracefully. Xa yena ubona kufuneka ixabiso kwaye ingaba ngcono kunabanye guys, yena babe hamba kumhla kunye nawe. ‘Omnye headache ngeli umnxeba kude kube ngu-ukufumana izinto ukuthetha malunga. A amahlwempu ukukhetha subjects okanye silences ingaba awkward kwaye hayi conducive ukuba umntu wanting ukuya ngaphandle kunye nawe. Lee wathi kufuneka mamela ngenyameko xa kubekho inkqubela ngu uthetha. ‘Kuphela xa uqala emamele, nibe ukufumana ntoni yena likes ukuthetha malunga. Umzekelo, ukuba yena uthi yena waya gym ngale ntsasa, ngoko uyakwazi ukuthi ‘mna umsebenzi ngaphandle kakhulu,’ ngoko ke ungakwazi thetha ngakumbi kwesi sihloko, wathi Lee. ‘Ke ayisosine malunga nawe kwaye incoko yakho, ke malunga putting i-indawo aye komnye umntu. Xa kufuneka ubeke yakho kugxila omnye umntu, izihloko kuza enyanisweni. ‘Aph (pseudonym), lakhe mid-s, i-Spanish expat kwaye lowo ezifumeneyo yakhe nationality lwenze abanye abafazi thatha real umdla kuye. ‘Njengoko a foreigner, abaninzi wobulali girls kundifumana nabafana ngenxa yokuba kuba impression ukuba ihlabathi apho ndivela ngu ezahlukeneyo kwaye magical,’ Aph wathi. Kodwa ngokungafaniyo ezininzi expats ukuba brag malunga langaphandle achievements kwaye iindawo baya kuba wahamba, lowo prefers ukuba dispel na notions i abafazi kufuneka ukuba ukho ukusuka ngcono ilizwe okanye, ngayo nayiphi na indlela, superior. ‘Ndifuna nje zichaza okokuba ndinguye i-nokuqheleka guy kwaye baxelele ndithanda ukuba bonwabele isixeko kunye umntu ongomnye. Abafazi kunye okulungileyo intentions appreciate wam honesty kwaye friendliness. ‘Ngokunjalo ekubeni honest kwaye eyobuhlobo, Aph kokuba i-trick ukuba picking phezulu girls. ‘Isitshixo wayeza kwenza abafazi ukuba ekubeni fun nam ngumsebenzi wabo unye. ‘Afe kuhlangana a kubekho inkqubela kufutshane yakhe ekhaya kuba okanye ikofu into ngexesha daytime ukwenza yakhe bazive bekhuselekile. Wathi kubuza yakhe apho yena ungathanda ukuba ndiye. Kwi indlela elikufutshane subway station, naye uya ngesiquphe kuthi: ‘ndidinga wam jacket. Ingaba khumbula ukuba ndithi hamba kwaye hlasi wam jacket? Ndiya kuhlala apha. ‘Kwaye uninzi girls wahamba naye. ‘Xa kokuba engene wam apartment, mna sat kubo phantsi kwi sofa, kwaye mna-sat kwi-kwenye indawo ukwenza ezinye umgama, ngoko ke baya waziva ngxaki. Kodwa xa sukuba sat kwi sofa, ababenako bona guitar kwi-yembombo wam ophilayo igumbi. Ngoko bathi kubuza ukuba ndadlala i-guitar. ‘Afe ngoko khetha phezulu guitar kwaye yenza ukuba kubekho inkqubela ukuya kuhlala kwelinye, kukufutshane, isitulo. Ukusuka apho baya ndingathi, jonga, egumbini lakhe bedroom kwaye bona a piano. Uninzi girls baba komhlaba kwaye wabuza ukuba kanjalo idlalwe i-piano. Ngoko ke, yena kwaye kubekho inkqubela ingaba ke hlala elandelayo ngamnye enye kwi-piano. Yena idlalwe into kuba nabo kwaye ke kubuza kubo wavuma into naye. ‘Ngoko ke yonke into iza enyanisweni. Thina kwangana kwaye ukuchitha bubonke umhla wam apartment — kwaye abo girls wacinga ukuba zabo unye ukuba uyonwabele nam, Aph wathi. Wathi lo ploy isoloko isebenza ngaphandle kunye omnye umntu — kubekho inkqubela abo baba umkakhe. ‘Yena waba ukuba omnye wala yiya kubazalwana bam apartment, kwaye wayengomnye omnye ukuba wenza oko ngenene kunzima ukufumana wakhe ukuba ngathi kum. Kwaye ukuba iqhele uhlobo abafazi thina end phezulu marrying — abafazi ezingekho lula, nabafazi ukuba ngenene ukwenza kuthi yenza omkhulu lincinane, Aph wathi. Jay Thornhill ufumana i-i-american yokuphumeza i-intanethi ushishino (bacopas) kwi-i-shanghai. I -yeminyaka ubudala wathi ukuba abaninzi Isitshayina abantu baba kakhulu desperate xa babeza umleqa girls. ‘Mna anayithathela wabuza Isitshayina girls benza ntoni ukuba Isitshayina guys ayikwazi ukwenza ngcono, kwaye abaninzi babo bathi Isitshayina guys yiya kakhulu ngokukhawuleza ukuze kwi ezinzima budlelwane. Baya musa ukwenza umngeni ukuze kubekho inkqubela, Thornhill wathi. Wathi amadoda nabafazi baba attracted yi-mngeni — xa into okanye umntu ikhangeleka nzima ukuze kuphunyezwe, kuthatha kwi ngakumbi ixabiso. ‘Abanye guys iya kuba umhla nge kubekho inkqubela kwaye umhla uya pretty kakuhle. Kwaye ke abo, rush ukuthatha ukuze kubekho inkqubela ngenene likes nabo kwaye khetha ka-akhoyo kubo, Thornhill wathi. ‘Ngoko ke, bona, umyalezo i kubekho inkqubela yonke imihla, kwaye silindele wakhe ukuba react na girlfriend. Kodwa enyanisweni, kubekho inkqubela babe ngxi kuba uthetha ukuba ezinye guys kwaye ngenxa yakhe iinketho. ‘Wathi ukuba guy waba ukwenza ngokwakhe ngoko ke ezifumanekayo ukuze kubekho inkqubela, yena abe ukuba akazange ukuba worthwhile, kwaye yena ingaba imali engakumbi efuna ingqalelo guys abo zaziswe ngaphezulu kwe-mngeni. Thornhill wacebisa ukuba abantu kufuneka kancinane kancinane kwaye ngaphezulu nomonde. Yenza kubekho inkqubela umbuzo kancinci, enze ummangaliso wakhe: ‘ngaba abe ngathi kum okanye hayi,’ kwaye musa kuba ngoko ke lwesivumelwano ngendlela enika ingqalelo yakhe — ibe unpredictable. ‘Wathi ukuba umntu waba ke phandle ukuba iinkwenkwezi okanye uncwadi uzama ukuhlangabezana abafazi, eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu wayeza kuphuma kunye iqela abahlobo, kwaye qiniseka ukuba kokuba ngakumbi fun kunokuba nabani na ongomnye kwi bar, kunokuba wenze ngayo umsebenzi wakhe ukuze ufumane kubekho inkqubela. ‘Ukuba ukhe ubene ehamba phezulu wonke kubekho inkqubela kwi-club yi-ngokwakho, kwaye uzama ukubetha ngayo ngaphandle ilungelo kude, ngoko ke girls uza kube ngumdla. Kodwa xa ufuna super ndonwabe kwaye enjoying ngokwakho, abantu baya kuqwalasela e wena kuba enyanisweni ngokulinganayo! kuwe. ‘Ezio (pseudonym) yi-French umntu othe ikholelwa ukuba abantu rhoqo misunderstand yintoni romanticcomment zinto azikho. ‘Esithi into efana ‘ufuna beautiful’ okanye ‘a idayimani wam amehlo’ rhoqo wayecinga ukuba abe romanticcomment, kodwa amazwi ingaba rhoqo cambalala kunye akukho real intsingiselo. Into romanticcomment iqhele kakhulu personal, ke rhoqo kakhulu subtle kwaye ilula, kodwa kuthetha kakhulu ngenxa abo, okanye xa njani ke kwenzeka. ‘Wathi ubani ngezixhobo ezahlukeneyo romanticcomment iintshukumo ukwenza girls bazive ezikhethekileyo. ‘Mna anayithathela climbed ngaphandle kwe-building ukubeka a yenyuka kwi balcony mna anayithathela apeyintwa i lonke sidewalk kunye chalk kwi-phambili wam girlfriends’ apartment ukuba surprise yakhe xa yena waya emsebenzini, mna anayithathela bought kwaye wabeka ezikhethekileyo izipho ngendlela ekhethekileyo iindawo ukuba surprise yakhe e-jikelele umphinda-phinde ngo enyakeni, Ezio wathi. ‘Ndicinga ukuba isitshixo ukuba senza into romanticcomment kwaye ngempumelelo ukuba senze into engalindelekanga ekubonisa care. Alikwazi ukwahlula malunga indlela enkulu okanye expensive kodwa malunga njani thoughtful kubalulekile. ‘Ngelixa abaninzi abantu indlela girls kwi standard environments, Ezio wathi ukuba wafumanisa a kubekho inkqubela umdla, akukho mcimbi apho waba, wayeza kuhamba kwaye yathetha ukuba kubekho inkqubela. Makube i-bar, club, restaurant, supermarket, ibhasi yeka. ‘Njengoko ixesha elide njengoko usondele kakhulu casual kwaye hayi creepy, abantu bakholisa ukuncoma elula lula iincoko. Ukufumana macala omabini esonwabisayo kwaye playful imeko iqhele ngokwaneleyo. Abantu bonke phezu kwehlabathi bamele efanayo. Baya kuxhamla ekubeni elungileyo ixesha kwaye intlanganiso umdla abantu. Enye into nangona kunjalo kanjalo na owenza ngokwakho kakhulu ezikhoyo — kufuneka bayigcine nganye kanye ezikhethekileyo. ‘Xa Isitshayina abantu tended ucinga fortune, career, kwaye loluntu isimo kubenza ngakumbi nabafana ukuba ladies, Ezio wathi oku kwaba phantse ngokufanayo zabo inkcubeko, kodwa isifrentshi abantu, usuke waba ukubonisa zabo okuninzi ngakumbi gracefully. ‘Kwi — West abantu idla kuphela icebiso e yabo yezentlalo isimo, ilifa lemveli kwaye fortune. Endaweni ebonisa oko ikhutshwe kwasekuqaleni okanye bragging malunga nayo, baya idla hayi kuthi nantoni na kwaye vumelani omnye umntu fumana ke ngoko ukuba ivela njenge ibhonasi xa ufuna babambisa a kubekho inkqubela ke inzala. ‘Wathi thinks ukuba yintoni yenza isifrentshi abantu ukuma ngaphandle kukuba babe idla kuba contradictory qukuqela. ‘Singaba ezinzima kodwa goofy, harsh kanti amatsha na ethe-ethe, amagama amakhulu kakhulu kodwa kancinci insecure. Sathi kanjalo benze izinto zikakesare kakhulu contradictory. Umzekelo, yokungenisa impahla ngaphandle kweli salesman emini kusenokuba i-electro DJ ngobusuku okanye ngokobuhlanga car umqhubi kwi weekends. ‘

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